In honor of Presidents’ Day and Valentine’s Day, it is important in studying American history to see that our national leaders are also people who had to make their ways in the world. They faced hardships and broken hearts, most of them married, and most found love in those matches. Of our 44 Presidents (which are really 43, as Grover Cleveland was President #22 and #24), all but one were married, and some were married more than once. Here is a brief description of how each of our United States Presidents met their First Ladies.

1. George and Martha Dandridge Custis Washington met at a soiree in the home of a well-connected friend in Virginia in 1757. Often away on campaigns during the French and Indian War, Washington nevertheless made it known soon after their introduction that he was courting the pleasant and wealthy young widow, and proposed to her in 1758. The couple married on January 6, 1759.

2. John and Abigail Smith Adams attended the same church in Braintree, Massachusetts, where Abigail’s father was the minister. Since both families were devoted church goers, the two saw each other often from a young age. It was John Adams who inspired the name of the county where Gettysburg is the county seat – he was President in 1800 when Adams County was formed.

3. Thomas Jefferson and Martha Wayles Skelton were attached to one another through their mutual love of music. Martha was a 19-year-old widow, and beautiful; so it was no surprise that many young men hoped to catch her eye. Thomas met her at a party given by one of the colony’s social elite in Charles City, a town near Williamsburg, in the fall of 1770. They married in 1772 and lived together in what Jefferson described as “ten years of unchequered happiness” before she died from failing health after bearing their last child, Lucy, in 1782. Jefferson was the first widower President, without a First Lady in the White House. Dolley Madison and Jefferson’s daughter, Martha, often served as hostesses.

4. James and Dolley Payne Todd Madison met through their mutual friends, George and Martha Washington, in New York during Washington’s first term as President. Dolley was also a widow, though she and her husband probably met James Madison before her widowhood. Dolley was also a Quaker, and a distant cousin of Martha Washington. Both George and Martha gave their blessing to the match.

5. James and Elizabeth Kortright Monroe also found one another in New York City, Elizabeth’s home town and where James was working as a Congressman just as the new nation was born. New York was the U.S. capital then, it was where Washington resided during his first term in office, and where Congress met. Elizabeth was a wealthy, and stunningly beautiful, socialite. Monroe was a Virginian and Revolutionary War veteran, her family had been Tories – loyal to King George – and still rich after England lost its hold upon the former colonies. When they met at a social gathering, for James it was love at first sight. When James was sent to France during the Reign of Terror as ambassador, Elizabeth was hailed as “La Belle Americaine” (the beautiful American) and loved by aristocrats and common folk alike.

6. John Quincy and Louisa Johnson Adams. The first son of a President to become President himself, the proper and rather unfriendly John Quincy Adams met Louisa Johnson in Amsterdam. He was serving as ambassador to The Netherlands under his father, who was President of the U.S. at the time. She was born in Maryland but was raised in London, the daughter of a wealthy merchant turned diplomat. At their first meeting when he visited her father, he thought she was too forward, openly demonstrating her intelligence and opinions. She thought he was too stuffy. Within a year they married, in Berlin, without President Adams, or Abigail, yet meeting the young woman.

7. Andrew Jackson and Rachel Donelson met at her mother’s boarding house in Nashville, Tennessee. Andrew was a boarder there. Rachel had been abandoned by her husband, John Donelson, and returned to live with her family. The couple was instantly attracted. Rachel filed for divorce and Jackson married her when the divorce was final. Years later Donelson surfaced, insisting that he never divorced Rachel, causing an uproar that lasted throughout Jackson’s campaign for President. The strain was likely the main reason that Rachel’s health failed, and she died before occupying the White House, making it a bittersweet victory for Old Hickory, also a widower President.

8. Martin and Hannah Hoes Van Buren were both native New Yorkers, from Kinderhook. They were also distant cousins who knew each other since childhood. Like Mrs. Jefferson and Mrs. Jackson, Hannah died before her husband was elected as the Chief Executive.

9. William Henry Harrison and Anna Symmes Harrison met near Cincinnati, Ohio, where Harrison was stationed as an officer during the Washington administration. Anna’s father owned an inn and eating establishment just north of Cincinnati named Symmes Tavern – a building that still stands and has long been an historical landmark in Fairfield, Ohio. William and his fellow officers frequented the tavern, probably in part to see the attractive owner’s daughter.

10. John and Julia Gardiner Tyler. John Tyler was the first Vice-President to become President upon the death of William Henry Harrison, who died after a mere month in office. Several months later, Tyler’s first wife, Letitia, died as well. Mourning her loss, Tyler did not appear in public for many months. Finally, Tyler’s daughter convinced him to attend a small soiree in the White House. There he met one of his daughter’s friends, the young and beautiful New York heiress Julia Gardiner. He was captivated by the girl, who was even younger than some of his children. A few weeks later, he invited Julia and her father, the wealthy business magnate David Gardiner, to accompany him and other colleagues on a cruise of the Potomac. As the steamer Princeton sailed upriver, a sudden explosion in the engine room killed several people on board, including Julia’s father. As the ship began to sink, Tyler personally rescued Julia and placed her in a life boat. Grateful that he had saved her life, she agreed to a courtship. They were married seven months later.

11. James Knox Polk and Sarah Childress were childhood sweethearts in their native town of Columbia, Tennessee. She remained in his thoughts for the four years that he was away at college in North Carolina. Upon graduation, James came back immediately to Columbia and married Sarah.

12. Zachary Taylor and Margaret Smith were both from Lexington, Kentucky and lived on neighboring plantations. They knew one another since both were a young age, and their families socialized in the same circles.

13. Millard and Abigail Powers Fillmore met in school, but not as fellow students. Abigail, one of the first of the First Ladies to be employed, was a teacher and librarian in the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York. Millard was one of her best students.

14. Franklin and Jane Appleton Pierce met at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine where both were students. Franklin attended classes with some elite friends, like Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Jane’s father was president of the college. She found the handsome young man at one of the student gatherings.

15. James Buchanan never married and so far has been our only President who remained a bachelor. He was engaged for a time to Pennsylvania heiress Ann Coleman, but she died before the wedding could take place. Buchanan never recovered from the loss.

16. Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln met at Mary’s sister’s home in Springfield, Illinois in 1839 at a soiree given by her brother-in-law, Ninian Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth. Lincoln had recently moved to Springfield and had been elected to the state legislature, in which Ninian Edwards was also serving. Mary, at age 20, had wanted to escape her home in Lexington, Kentucky after chafing under the rigid neglect of her step-mother and willingly moved to Illinois to stay with her sister. Intelligent and pretty in her youth, Mary Todd caught the eye of many young men, including Lincoln, who asked her to dance – and she accepted. They were married in the Edwards home three years later.

17. Andrew and Eliza McCardle Johnson met when Andrew moved from North Carolina to Greenville, Tennessee as a teen. He was an illiterate tailor, she was the daughter of the shoemaker, whose business was not far from Johnson’s. Love was kindled as she taught Andrew to read. He was nineteen and she was sixteen when they married.

18. Ulysses S. Grant and Julia Dent Grant were introduced by Julia’s brother, Frederick, one of Grant’s classmates at West Point. After graduation, Grant was stationed at Jefferson Barracks, near St. Louis, Missouri. One day he stopped by to visit his old classmate and met one of Fred's younger sisters, age 17, who had just returned from boarding school. Grant admitted that after meeting Julia, he found any excuse to stop by the Dent home.

19. Rutherford and Lucy Webb Hayes met in Cincinnati, Ohio while both were working for a mutual cause – abolition. Rutherford, called Rudd by his associates, was a young attorney defending escaped slaves whose masters had caught them and were trying to return them southward. Lucy was also a vehement abolitionist after her recent graduation from Wesleyan College.

20. James and Lucretia Rudolph Garfield were classmates at the Geagua Seminary in Chester, Ohio, a religious academy for both men and women.

21. Chester and Ellen Herndon Arthur were a couple similar to James and Elizabeth Monroe. Arthur, though, was the New Yorker and she the southern belle. Chet was a prominent lawyer among the New York City set, attending many social events with his friends and associates. One night they went to hear a celebrated soprano sing at an upscale performance hall. The soprano was the beautiful Ellen Herndon, the daughter of a naval officer.

22/24. Grover and Frances Folsom Cleveland knew one another for decades before they married. Cleveland, who ascended to the Presidency as a bachelor, married Frances in the White House during his first term. He and Oscar Folsom, his future wife’s father, were law partners in New York. When Frances was born, Cleveland presented the new parents with a baby carriage. Oscar was killed in an accident when Frances was 12, and Cleveland was named as her guardian. He was 54 and she was 21 when they married.

23. Benjamin and Caroline Scott Harrison were college sweethearts. They met at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio.

25. William and Ida Saxton McKinley met shortly after the Civil War ended in Canton, Ohio. As a veteran of the Union army, McKinley, an Ohio native, settled in Canton because his sister, Anna, lived there. She introduced him to Ida, her friend, and the daughter of the town’s wealthiest banker.

26. Theodore and Edith Carow Roosevelt both grew up in the same affluent New York City neighborhood and were friends since early childhood. Though they were close friends and childhood sweethearts, Teddy surprisingly married the delicate Alice Lee after going away to school. After the birth of their daughter, Alice, Mrs. Roosevelt, never in robust health, died. Returning to New York City, the future President sought consolation in the arms of his childhood friend, Edith, and after the mourning period ended the couple married.

27. William Howard and Nellie Herron Taft were high school sweethearts, and had met each other as pre-teens in school in Cincinnati. Nellie’s father was well connected politically and socially, and Bill, though a good student and affable young man, did not come from a privileged class. The reason he became a lawyer and a politician was so that he could deserve Nellie. He even ran for President because she wanted to occupy the White House, not Taft. He had coveted a seat on the Supreme Court, which he got after his tenure as President.

28. Woodrow and Edith Bolling Galt Wilson met under circumstances similar to that of John and Julia Tyler. Wilson’s wife, Ellen, died of Bright’s Disease shortly after he became President, and her loss devastated him. He was finally coaxed out of his solitude months later, attending a tea hosted by his cousin, Helen Bones. She introduced him to an attractive widow, Edith Galt in March, 1915 and the President was immediately smitten. The couple was an item by June, and married in December.

29. Warren and Florence Kling Harding met in Marion, Ohio where Warren had recently launched a newspaper, The Marion Star, and she was a divorced and single mother living in the same town. Her father was a wealthy Marion businessman, and business associate of her future husband.
30. Calvin and Grace Goodhue Coolidge were both natives of Vermont living in Northampton, Massachusetts. She was a teacher of the deaf, and he was an intensely shy young lawyer working for a local law firm. Grace’s name was a good description of her personality, and she was beautiful too. Somehow the young, tongue-tied attorney managed to ask her for a date and she accepted.

31. Herbert and Lou Henry Hoover met at Stanford University in California, where both were Geology majors. The couple were college sweethearts and married after graduation. Lou Hoover was the first woman ever to graduate from Stanford with a degree in Geology. Her many trips around the world with her husband made her degree a valuable asset.

32. Franklin Delano and Eleanor Roosevelt were distant cousins who met as young children in one of the family gatherings among the Roosevelt clan. Eleanor called Franklin’s mother, Sara Delano, “Cousin Sally”, and was as shy and backward as Franklin was erudite and extroverted. Franklin became interested in her while attending college at Harvard, and it was while he was away in Cambridge that they became engaged. Sara Roosevelt, now a widow, was outraged by the match. She felt that the homely and introverted Eleanor would not make a good wife for her only child. Yet, Eleanor Roosevelt was one of the most involved First Ladies in our nation, during a time of war when she was desperately needed.

33. Harry and Bess Wallace Truman even surpassed the Clevelands in the number of years between their time of meeting until the time of their marriage. Harry first saw Bess when both began school at age 6, in the first grade in Independence, Missouri. She was from a wealthy family, he was not. In fact, Harry’s father, on his deathbed, confided to his son that he had been a failure. Harry and Bess did not marry until they were 35. By then, he felt he could support her.

34. Dwight David and Mamie Doud Eisenhower met in San Antonio, Texas in 1914, when Ike was a second lieutenant at Fort Sam Houston and Mamie was wintering in Texas with her family. The Douds were living in Denver, but spent the cold months in the south because one of Mamie’s sisters had chronic health issues. A mutual friend, whose husband was also stationed at Fort Sam Houston, introduced the couple as Ike was performing routine inspections on the base, one of his daily duties. After sizing up each other, Ike asked Mamie to walk with him while he made his rounds, and she accepted. They became engaged just over a year later, on Valentine’s Day, 1916, and married that same year, on July 1.

35. John Fitzgerald and Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy met when she was a college co-ed and a part-time reporter for the Washington Times Herald. Jack Kennedy was the junior senator from Massachusetts, and agreed to an interview. The interview apparently went very well, and Jack called Jackie soon after to ask her for a date. When the newspaper sent Jackie to London to cover the coronation of Queen Elizabeth, Jack sent a telegram, telling her that he missed her. When she returned, he proposed.

36. Lyndon Baines and Lady Bird Johnson were both from Texas, but different parts of that gigantic state. Lyndon, interested in politics at an early age, only went to college because his mother insisted on his education. After college he got a job in Washington, D.C. as a secretary in Congress. He returned to Texas for a break in 1934, and visited Austin. While there, a mutual friend introduced him to a demure and sweet-natured college student named Claudia Alta Taylor. She was nicknamed “Ladybird” by her father. Lyndon was struck immediately by her, and after a whirlwind romance of two months, she took him to east Texas to meet her father. He approved of LBJ and they couple were married soon after.

37. Richard Milhous and Pat Nixon met at a play performed by an amateur theater troupe in California. Nixon was a young lawyer just graduated from Duke and law school, and Pat, whose actual name was Thelma Catherine Ryan, was a school teacher by day and a budding actress by night. She was performing in the play the night that Nixon first saw her. Like the Johnsons, it was a fast and furious romance – although Pat tried to slow her ardent admirer. They married within months.

38. Gerald and Betty Bloomer Ford met in Grand Rapids Michigan in 1947 through mutual friends who thought they would make a great pair. Both had been unlucky in love. Betty was divorcing husband #1 and Jerry had recently been turned down by his childhood sweetheart after returning from World War II. He had returned to his native Michigan to run for Congress, and he won the seat shortly after his marriage to Betty in 1948.

39. Jimmy and Rosalynn Smith Carter knew each other as school children. Rosalynn was the best friend of Jimmy’s younger sister, Ruth, in Plains, Georgia. Rosalynn had a crush on Jimmy for years before he finally noticed her. The couple married right after Jimmy graduated from the Naval Academy in Annapolis, and Rosalynn graduated from high school.

40. Ronald Wilson and Nancy Davis Reagan were both actors in Hollywood, California. Reagan was for a time the President of the Screen Actors Guild, a position that ensured fair treatment of those in the film industry. One day a troubled Nancy Davis came to see him. She was receiving communist propaganda in the mail and was concerned because of the Red Scare instigated by Senator McCarthy a few years before. Since Nancy was not a communist, she wanted the letters to stop, and definitely wanted the Screen Actors Guild to know where her sympathies were. Reagan took care of the problem, eased her concerns, and asked her out. They were married just one year later. Actor William Holden was Reagan's best man.

41. George Herbert Walker and Barbara Pierce Bush met at a Christmas dance in 1941, when they were both just seventeen. He was planning to enter the air force after graduation, and she thought, with or without the uniform, he was the handsomest man she had ever seen. He asked her to dance, and she accepted; but both discovered that he was terrible at the waltz and sat and talked instead. Their romance was put on hold because of the war and their young ages, and they married in 1945, once peace was procured.

42. Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton met at Yale, where both attended college. She heard him talking to a mutual friend about how much bigger watermelons are in the South, unlike the ones they ate in Connecticut, and was intrigued by his accent and easy manner. They also served together in 1972 on George McGovern’s Presidential Campaign.

43. George W. and Laura Welch Bush met at a barbecue of a mutual friend in Texas in 1977. She was a librarian and known for her integrity and steadiness, he was a wanderer who was a bit on the wild side. Their host had hoped to get them together, and George was eager to comply. Laura took a bit more convincing, but finally agreed to date the 30-year-old confirmed bachelor.

44. Barack and Michelle Robinson Obama met at the Sidley Austin Law Firm in Chicago in 1989. She had recently graduated from Harvard Law School and had secured a position as an associate of the firm. Barack was an intern for the law firm, while still attending Harvard. He served in Michelle’s office, making Michelle his mentor and boss. While eating lunch one day the pair discovered that they had a lot in common, and began dating soon afterward.

Sources: Angelo, Bonnie. First Mothers: The Women Who Shaped the Presidents. New York: Harper Collins, 2000. Anthony, Carl Sferraza. First Ladies: The Saga of the Presidents’ Wives and Their Power, 1789-1961. New York: Quill, William Morrow, 1990. Eisenhower, Dwight D. At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends. National Park Service, 1967. Flexner, James Thomas. Washington: The Indispensable Man. New York: Signet Books, 1984. Grant, Ulysses S. Personal Memoirs of U.S. Grant. New York: Da Capo Books, 1982 (reprint). Herndon, William H. and Jesse W. Weik. Herndon’s Lincoln. Urbana and Chicago, IL: University of Illinois Press, 2006 (reprint). Malone, Dumas. Thomas Jefferson: The Virginian. Vol. 1. New York: Little, Brown, & Company, 1989 (reprint, originally published 1948). Michelle Obama: A Portrait of the First Lady. New York: Time/Life Books, 2009. Truman, Margaret. First Ladies: An Intimate Group Portrait of White House Wives. New York: Random House, 1995. Whitney, David C. The American Presidents: Biographies of the Chief Executives From Washington Through Clinton. New York: Doubleday, 1993.

Editor’s Note: Did you know that 24 of our 44 U.S. Presidents have visited Gettysburg, either before, during, or after their terms? The first was George Washington, who passed through the area on his way to his inauguration in New York in 1789. The last was George W. Bush, who visited Gettysburg and took a battlefield tour in September of 2008. Between them, 22 other Commanders-in-Chief have been to our historic crossroads town: William Henry Harrison, James Buchanan, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, Grover Cleveland, Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and George H.W. Bush. Both Ike and Buchanan actually lived here for a time, the others have just visited -- either making speeches like Lincoln did in 1863, or taking an tour of the battlefield.

Back to Top